if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
