If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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