who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
