Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
