I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
