I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
