I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
