Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
