Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize