If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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