dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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