Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
