Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize