I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
