as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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