Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
