so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
