nut hugger
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
