oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
