oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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