the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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