ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
