Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
