Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Ketchup is God's man juice
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
