I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
