Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
pray to the hookup gods
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
