She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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