Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it glows. i had to have it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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