We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
only if we run a train.
done.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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