we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm gonna fight the coyote
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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