I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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