I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
