he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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