I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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