he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize