We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
