So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
