I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
