You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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