it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
