Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
