ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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