Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
