do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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