problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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