fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
