4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
