Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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