I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
