There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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