Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
