I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
