i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
