I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
