Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
