nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
