I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
