my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Fuck appropriateness.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
